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    Posted By
    Sara Herrmann, M.D.

    Sara Herrmann, M.D.

    Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine (Children)

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    Speaking of Health
    Monday, June 15, 2020

    4 tips for temper tantrums

    Toddler pouting

    We’ve all been there. Your toddler is having a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store aisle. What do you do now? Temper tantrums are an immature way of expressing negative feelings.

    These 4 tips may offer some techniques to help your child channel their feelings in a positive way:

    1. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings.

    Give your child an emotional vocabulary by giving the feelings names. You could say, "I know you wanted that cereal. I understand that you're angry. Instead of screaming say: 'I'm mad.'"

    2. Stay calm.

    If you reward tantrums with something your child wants, the tantrums are likely to continue. Try redirecting your child to a different activity, or leave the room until they regain control.

    3. Keep the child safe while not giving too much attention.

    When your child quiets down, you might say, "Tantrums won't get my attention. If you want to tell me something, you have to use your words."

    4. Try to keep your child on schedule with regular meals/snacks and sleep routine.

    Children may have more tantrums when they are hungry or tired.  Once your child is over their tantrum, come back together lovingly. To do this, you need to validate their feelings, help them process the situation and offer unconditional love. Try saying, "You were so angry. It looked like you felt…" and "I am here, and I always love you, even when you are screaming and upset."

    As your child’s self-control improves, tantrums should become less common. Most children begin having fewer tantrums by age 3 1/2. If you're having concerns about your child's tantrums, talk with a health care provider.

    Sara Herrmann, M.D., is a pediatrician in Holmen, Wisconsin.


    For the safety of our patients, staff and visitors, Mayo Clinic has strict masking policies in place. Anyone shown without a mask was either recorded prior to COVID-19 or recorded in a non-patient care area where social distancing and other safety protocols were followed.
    Topics in this Post
    • Children's Health (Pediatrics)
    • Child Development
    • Parenting
    • Pediatric Medicine
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